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People-pleaser trap馃檱馃檸


 ''Well, I really do not take alcohol but I don't want you to feel bad if I reject your offer, I'll take a bottle.''


''I don't want the pastor to see me as a lazy youth, I would have to join the Sunday School department then.''


Gosh, like I don't get. Must you be so loyal to every person that you can't say NO to pressure? . . few of the lines above exemplifies how we sometimes react to situations cowardly.


How often do you please people? Many times! Yes, many times!


Let me make it plain enough: Any moment you bow completely to someone else's opinion or suggestion about you without questioning, you've fallen inside the people-pleaser trap.


I must confess to you that I was a victim of this for quite a few number of years even though I pretend to be rebellious, I accept people's opinion of me hook, line and sinker.


Those times ehn, when I see my friends or people I know going astray, I couldn't bring myself to correct them because I didn't want to break the cord of our friendship.  I seemed to be fine with any and every single thing they did. 


My charade of dumbness was just to make sure I didn't have a fight with anyone, that things go their way even when I'm not comfy.


Hmmmmmmm. You know how that hurts right? Busy forming Saint Lola Ganja馃槀 that agrees with everyone even when I'm not. 


People-pleasing behaviour cause you to bury your originality, it makes you live a complicated life because you adopt every single idea from every body without filtering or evaluating those ideas whether they conform to your life as a person.


Imagine you don't like the red colour but you went on a shopping with a friend and she told you to pick up a nice red gown. You couldn't politely declined the offer cos you thought it was going to hurt her and you picked the expensive dress even if you may end up not wearing it. Why does it have to be that way??


People-pleasing is a costly way of life. You can't be you because your choices don't in any way matter. Other people's priority are placed before yours negatively.

Note: this shouldn't be mistaken for sacrifice or funding emotional bank account in a relationship. It's in the negative. The latter is giving in to let peace reign because you value the relationship, it is about living your life in line with what various people say.


People pleasing makes you say, ''I don't want my pastor to complain about me'' 

Or

''I didn't remove the course though it's an elective o but because Jim is offering it, I'll do too''


You see the pain you could be passing through all because you are deviating from the truth about you.


Life is simple when people know you for who you are not what they make you to be. When you love blue, tell them you would rather opt for blue politely. When you don't club, tell them you don't and suggest another option if they mind.


Let people learn how to tolerate you for the choices you make too my dear and don't be a dump site where they throw all sorts on you.


They will take you for granted when they know you have a soft heart to welcome every thing they say to you.


馃幖馃帶 No let dem see you finish,

Dem go finish your biscuit,

Dem go finish your sweet.... (Complete it if you know it馃槣)


Stop pleasing people anyhow, I mean gullibly rather do things that makes you happy.


People-pleasing is a fake life style.

Darling, you deserve better, you deserve to be original.

Weigh opinions before you give in at all times.

Please yourself rather but apply wisdom.

Oshamoooo馃槈 

Virtual hugssss馃馃馃







Comments

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ... shakara don end oo.
    People pleasing stopped for me the day I knew I was the one who will be held responsible for my decisions not them.

    Keep it up

    ReplyDelete

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