Manipulative people!!!❌

Chai.

Would you imagine yourself in this kind of situation where you pay a visit to someone's house, you were offered a meal but you declined politely because you didn't want to betray your stomach at that time. The people now responded with ''you don't want to eat because our food is not sweet ahbi.'' 

You don't even need to imagine that because I'm sure it must have happened to you several times if you're a Nigerian.

Honestly speaking, you would want to dissuade them off that thought and you might even find yourself trying to explain the reason why you have declined the offer, maybe to say ''it's not like that ma'am, I'm fasting or I didn't mean to say No to your offer, I just ate a plate of rice on my way here not long ago'' and so on.

Watch out!

Those people might not know what they've done but that's a straightforward example of what a manipulative person does.

You find yourself trying to ''shalaye'' why a request of theirs was not granted.

They don't want to know if you have your own life to live, they are just self-centered.

And you know the fact about this?

We all often times do that to those around us knowingly or otherwise. I mean we manipulate them to conform to our choices.

As human beings, we hate disapprovals. Yea, we love acceptance. The moment people like us and welcome our ideas, we feel like super beings.

So when the opposite happens, when people tell us they can't do what we've asked of them, we say

''Ehn ehn, so it's too big for you to do''

''Na wa o, so you're saying you can't follow me to that place''

''No wahala sha, you can't borrow me that money ahbi''

You know with the samples of those statements above, you could be tempted to start explaining why you can't grant their request at that time by saying

''It's not like that o, it's just that I want to send the money on me to my brother in school''

Or 

''Okay, I'll sha go with you''

You see manipulative people ehn, they can take your breathe off you (if you are not careful)

How do you recognize them?

They make it look as though all your life revolve round them.

Their level of dependency on you is high and when you turn their request down, it makes you automatically a bad person.

They want all their needs to be met and all their requests granted.

They want to control you. When they tell you that you'll go out with them at 3pm, they don't want to care if you have other important assignments. 

You sacrifice yourself, time and resources for them majorly.

Their expectation from you is high. You do things for them that you can't even do for You.

Most of the times, like I said, we are one way or the other guilty of these.

This is a reminder that ''No Time To Shalaye''

When you've told a person you're busy or you won't be able to do something they've asked of you, let it be that way.

Don't allow them get all the confidential facts off you before they can believe your reason for declining.

Let your NO be NO, no epistles.

I hope you'll learn to stand your ground and won't allow anyone manipulate you into giving in??

And I hope you'll learn to accept people's decline without bothering them of their reasons?

I trust this will spur you and I to become better versions of ourselves.

Happy new week

Virtual hugs FAM 🤗