Okay wait, this thing happens and I'm yet to understand the reason behind it.
Why should I as your friend go on to fight someone you aren't in good terms with??? Is it just because of loyalty and friendship that makes me automatically love whoever you loves and vice versa?
I don't know if this mentality of inheriting other people's enemy is Africa-centered or all over the world which I doubt it is. Cos I don't even want to imagine people oversees having this kind of mindset.
So, being friends through thick and thin has indirectly transformed to disliking same people and loving same set of people together. Eweeey. If you're not talking to your mum, I should also enter your house without greeting her? Or if someone had annoyed you, I should also play dumb to the person's greetings to pass a message of "My friend's enemy is mine" ? Gbogbo eleyi o necestri na
I watched a movie recently. There were two ladies who used to be roommates, then they had a minor misunderstanding. The close friend of one of them came around and was cautioned not to greet or say a word to the other lady in the room. When she's not involved in the wahala, why can't she greet her good evening at most?
Apart from the friendship part, lemme share one of the million experience I've encountered. This particular one happened while I was still seeking for admission, jobless one in the 'adugbo'. A disagreement ensued between two women in our neighborhood who used to be bosom friends and because of that I noticed the children have also stopped greeting their friend's mum. To you, it may seem right as they might have no choice following the instructions of their mothers. But is that how it's done???
That how some of us do o, we badmouth whoever we are not in good terms with to make our friends see reasons to distance themselves from them. And these our friends too that we've given the gists will now be overreacting on top of someone else's matter. They won't stop there, they will still continue to spread negativity about such people like it was a personal issue with them.
Don't get me wrong, it's good to be up for your bestie, fam, pals, it's good to always gat them but not by being childish. My friend can't just tell me not to talk to a person, I would ask "kilosele" if your reason is convincing I'll call the other party and know where the issue lies. At this my age and level😜 I can't just be tossed around anyhow abeg.
Oya come here, yes you. You need to seriously calm down. This issue you're taking personally is not yours now. And to you spreading false pity so your friend can hate whoever you hate, it is very wrong.
One of the basic things I've learnt is not to inherit other people's enemy. I can't just respond to you based on what I've been fed with when I don't have any issue with you. The fact that you had a disagreement with someone doesn't make them my own enemy too.
This isn't that you won't look out for your friend but it shouldn't be at the expense of quitting relationship with others just because they don't talk with the person. It's only eye service because you are thinking that will make you win your friend's trust more. What if by tomorrow they start talking with the person? Would you also go with the flow like a leaf on the water and start dancing after that same person you had sly again?
As you go this year, don't inherit other people's enemy because such a person may be your own angel. Fight battles wisely.
Virtual hugs fam 🤗🤗🤗
Hmmmmm. I experienced this a moment ago; someone had a clash with my best friend which I also knew to be unfair. The truth was, I didn't allow that to stop my existing flow with the person, I rather acted as if nothing happened and at the end, they both reconciled.
ReplyDeleteThe question is, if I had kept malice with him too, how would I have rekindled that relationship? Only God knows!.
Great write up here, anyway.
Exactly.
DeleteThanks for stopping by